Cliff Notes : Utopia

Posted on July 15, 2010 by Amy

I gave in and moved to WordPress in hopes that the new surroundings would spur my blogging into any sort of regularity. I seem to manage to blog regularly for work, but putting the daily happenings of the household down has alluded me for Grant’s entire first year. It’s a problem.

I’m sitting between Grant’s first birthday (Tuesday) and Jon’s 26th birthday (Friday) and am thrilled to spend this July feeling like a human being as opposed to the post operative creature of the deep that I was last year. The recovery from my c-section was so incredibly out of balance with what every single account I had heard or read that it was shocking. Not being able to sleep/sit/be anywhere but a large armchair that I made Jon haul into our room at 1am the first night we were home was miserable. Not to mention the hell week Jon went thru as I could hardly hold the baby, much less change/feed/bathe him.

We went from 1 day …

To 1 year …

So so quickly.

Having a baby was this huge shock to both Jon and I who were self professed non-baby-wanters. Having him was entering into this world we had no idea that we would love. And timing is everything … I had just started the business with mom and Jon had just taken the oil job which meant being on call 24 hours a day and spending more nights in his truck than in our bed. Somehow we’ve made it work and have even had the scary ’2nd child’ talk and it was a positive one which I’m sure we will revisit and waver on time and again before anything happens.

I am pretty much going to write this for myself, maybe a few friends, but mainly just to have my own, uneditied, account of being a mom, a job I thought for a while I would never have.

When Jon and I got married, it was with the understanding that not having kids was fine with us, I wasn’t sure that after all of the medications, including the ones I am still on, that my body could handle it and I had no interest in going through years of fertility treatment if it couldn’t. Jon and I would just be together, have a ton of dogs and horses and be just peachy. Then I got lax with my birth control. Not purposefully, but that whole ‘take it the SAME TIME every day’ thing is not up my alley.

I found out I was pregnant right before Thanksgiving ’08, I felt like a 16 year old kid that had done something terrible despite my marital status and relative financial security. It took a couple of months for the idea to sink in that this was happening and it was OK.

Now I just wrapped up Grant’s first birthday party and could not be more in love with him and our family.

Now, we embark on toddler-hood. We are currently trying to master sippy cups and solid foods. It’s a long way from attending law school which is where I would have put myself if you had asked 5 years ago. Now I love my job, designing and coordinating events is something that keeps me interested and satisfied.

Now, if I could lose 50 lbs and save all of the dogs dumped in shelters I’d be a happy girl … onward.